What is Matrescence and why should I know about it before or after giving birth?
Becoming a mother is a profound journey. While pregnancy, childbirth, and the new baby are given much time and attention, there's another crucial aspect of this evolution that is often overlooked: matrescence.
Matrescence (pronounced "muh-tress-ence”) is the process of becoming a mother, encompassing the biological aspects, identity shift, emotional upheaval, and personal growth that come with stepping into motherhood. The word “matrescence” combines the Latin word "maternus," meaning motherhood, and "essence," implying a state of being. It's a term coined to parallel adolescence, highlighting the period of transition and transformation that occurs when a woman becomes a mother extending beyond the physical aspects of reproduction.
What Is The Significance of Matrescence?
Understanding matrescence is vital as it validates the experiences of mothers and normalizes the challenges they face as they are reborn into a new version of themselves. Unlike pregnancy and childbirth, which are often celebrated, matrescence is a quieter, more nuanced process that often flies under the radar and is accompanied by a range of emotions, relationship shifts, mental health challenges, and physical changes.
Naming matrescence and understanding its key features allows us to acknowledge the complexity of the motherhood journey and foster empathy and support for women walking this road.
Key Features of Matrescence
1. Identity Shift As A New Mother
Matrescence redefines identity as women transition from individuals to mothers. This shift can evoke a range of emotions, from excitement and anticipation to uncertainty and loss of self-identity. Women may grapple with questions of who they are and how motherhood intersects with their other roles, identities, goals, and aspirations.
2. Experiencing Emotions As A New Mother
The emotional landscape of matrescence is diverse and dynamic. While many women experience overwhelming love and attachment to their newborns, they may also encounter feelings of detachment, anxiety, guilt, and inadequacy. Hormonal fluctuations, birth trauma, physical recovery from pregnancy and delivery, feeding challenges, sleep deprivation, and the immense responsibility of caring for a newborn can intensify these emotions, creating a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows.
3. Changing Relationship Dynamics For New Mothers
Matrescence reshapes not only a woman's sense of self but also her relationships. Romantic partnerships WILL undergo significant changes as couples navigate the transition to parenthood, renegotiating roles, responsibilities, and priorities. Friendships may evolve as women seek out peers who can relate to their experiences as mothers and sometimes find that their social priorities and needs have shifted.
4. Cultural and Societal Influences Of Motherhood
Matrescence is influenced by cultural and societal norms surrounding motherhood. Expectations of the "ideal" mother, societal pressures to balance work and family, and cultural traditions regarding childcare and parenting practices can all shape a woman's experience of matrescence. These influences may exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or isolation or provide support and validation depending on how closely they align with a woman's values and beliefs.
How New Mothers Can Navigate Matrescence
Navigating matrescence requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and support from loved ones and healthcare professionals. Here are some strategies for women to navigate this transformative journey:
1. Self-Reflection
Take time to reflect on your feelings, experiences, and expectations vs. reality surrounding motherhood. Journaling, mindfulness and gratitude practices, and therapy can help you process your emotions and gain insight into your evolving identity as a mother.
2. Self-Care
Prioritize self-care to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This may involve carving out time for rest, eating, exercise, hobbies, and social connection, as well as seeking professional support (including therapy and medication) when needed. Remember, self-care isn't selfish—it's essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup!
3. Intentional Communication
Open and honest communication with your partner, family members, and friends is essential during matrescence. Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your support network. Practice asking for help and accepting offers of support (much easier said than done, I know!).
4. Embrace Imperfection
Let go of the pressure to be perfect and embrace the messiness of motherhood. Your kids don't need a perfect mom (no such thing even exists); they just need you. Motherhood isn't about being perfect. It's about being present and doing the best you can with what you have – whatever that looks like in your current season.
5. Community Support
Seek out communities of mothers who can provide empathy, validation, and practical advice. Whether through online forums, support groups, help lines, or local parenting networks, connecting with other mothers can help combat feelings of isolation and foster a sense of belonging. Having a support system can make all the difference.
6. Professional Guidance
Don't hesitate to seek guidance from healthcare professionals, such as obstetricians, midwives, therapists, and lactation consultants. These professionals can offer medical expertise, emotional support, and practical guidance to navigate the challenges of matrescence. There's no shame in asking for help, whether it's from your partner, family, or a professional. Whether you're struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, feeding challenges, or just feeling overwhelmed, know that there are resources available to support you.
Conclusion
Matrescence is more than just a word. It is a profound journey of transformation, encompassing the physical, emotional, and psychological changes that occur when a woman becomes a mother. By understanding and validating the experiences of matrescence, we can support women on this journey, fostering resilience, empowerment, and growth. Through self-reflection, self-care, communication, community support, and professional guidance, women can navigate matrescence with grace and confidence, embracing the transformative power of motherhood.
